


John Munch Drabbles because my google keep is getting too full

by IcarysAscending



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Consensual Sex, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, NSFW Art, Oh My God
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29769549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcarysAscending/pseuds/IcarysAscending
Summary: i have too much free time
Relationships: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, John Munch/Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	1. babydoll (johnxoc!fem) (nsfw)

The car rolled to a stop in the alleyway. John had his coat up above his head, Delly tapping her fingers on the wheel.  
"No one will see us." She said, almost irritably.  
"Yes they will, and I will lose my job."  
"Hey, you forget, the punishment for being a whore is much higher for women." She got out of the car and scanned. "Nobody in sight."  
He scrambled into the backseat and yanked down his jeans, freeing the erection that had been throbbing under his skin since noon. She sat in the car beside him and he swallowed-why the hell did she have to look so very sexy in that sweater?  
"John." She tsked and took him in her hand. "You are way too horny."  
"Hey, you were the one that demonstrated the sheer girth of your throat. What the hell else was I supposed to think about-ooohhh..."  
She squeezed softly, watching his muscles tense in anticipation. "Oh shit, Delly, you're serious."  
"I'm making this quick."  
"Fine." He kissed her cheek and relaxed. "I know how good you do me."  
"Mhm? How good baby?" She spat in her hand and continued to slowly jerk.  
"Soooo damn good. Like right now, I feel practically immortal." His face tinted pink slowly, meaning he was really loving this. "I could lay here and let you do this forever."  
"Maybe tonight you return the favor?"  
"I hope I can...God, that would be nice." he huffed a little and shifted. "Um..."  
"If you want more you have to ask."  
He pouted a little but still mumbled, "...please stroke me faster."  
She sped up considerably, causing him to jerk in his seat. "Woah!"  
"Too fast?"  
"No, fuck, keep that speed, I'm gonna blow." His once pink face was a hot red, even his ears boiling.  
She listened carefully to him. His breath, heaving, a little soft squeak of vocalization, rising in pitch each time. His body shifted and his clothing rustled. She loved watching him get closer, the little grunts and groans that escaped his lips. He did it in part for her-usually he hid his noises desperately, but he found if he vocalized she did more for him. He loved watching her soft and small hands stroke him-she was a tiny woman and his dick looked massive in her hands.  
"Oh...baby...I...I'm cumming-"  
She opened her mouth and took him in as his orgasm crashed over him, making him forcefully grab her hair and making his hips jerk into her warm throat. He released a cry, soft and exploding with pleasure.  
Once she milked away his orgasm, he yanked her head off (or he would start sobbing in overstimulation). His cum dripped over her lips.  
"Oh dear God." He flopped back in exhaustion. "That was so good. I need a nap."  
She swallowed and wiped her mouth. "Just a few minutes. I'll hold you."  
He snuggled into her chest and relaxed, letting her put him away and pull up his jeans.  
"Aww, poor Johnny." She cooed and kissed his head. "My little duckie is so cute when he cums."  
He blushed and hmphed. "Yeah, whatever."  
"You are! I could snuggle my duckie forever."  
Being wrapped up in her arms, feeling the warmth of his orgasm wash slowly away, feeling his hair be petted...he was so loved.  
He teared up and looked up at her. "I love you so much Delly Belly."  
"Hey, what's wrong?" She sat up and wiped his eyes gingerly. "Everything is okay!"  
"That's why I'm crying." He sniffed. "I feel okay."  
"Aww. Johnny. You're the sweetest." She squeezed him tight. "Your cum is gross."  
He burst out laughing and pushed her down. "...do you wanna try missionary? we're in a car, it might be better..."  
"Johnny, I would love to feel your massive dick inside me. But we don't have time."  
"Can I finger you?"  
"No, baby." She stretched. "Get situated bubba."  
"Ugh. Whatever. Where are we going again?"  
"West side. Suicide, looks like, but uh...he was hung in gimp."  
"Oh great. One minute I'm getting an amazing blow, and the next I have to look at a dead sub."  
"John, half the time you are a submissive."  
"Yeah, because you eat great ass."  
"Let's go, Duckie."  
He rolled his eyes but clambered back to the front. As she drove, he relaxed and looked out at the city.  
And with all the shiny buildings, and the green of forest park...and yet he still found her insanely more beautiful.


	2. a frank discussion of getting laid (not smut sorry) (johnxfem!oc)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember hippie daze? john does

When John walked in that sunny morning he was hit with an awful sense of Deja vu. Nobody met his eye, or they laughed at him. Uh oh.  
He checked the poster board and a bright yellow paper with the atrociously fonted "Hippie Daze" was hung on the upper right side.  
He walked into the main floor and sat at his desk. Olivia looked at him and burst out laughing. Stabler grumped and rolled his eyes.   
"it was the angle, Olivia, I'm telling you."  
John could have killed himself. After around ten minutes of silence and utter shame roiling in his gut, Delilah came in. She speedily walked to the counter and made herself tea. When she sat down at their desk, she looked him in the eye-and turned hot pink. She covered her face like a school girl and sat back in her chair.  
"Oooh, somebody saw her partner naked." Olivia teased.  
"Shut up." Delilah said, muffled. "Jesus God."  
"I'm sorry you had to see that." John scratched his nape. "If you want a transfer..."  
She gaped at him. "Transfer? Are you kidding me? No! I'm embarrassed because...the print matches my room."  
"The WHAT matches your room?" John howled.  
"If I cut your head off and trim the white border, I have a perfect spot I was looking at for a male anatomy piece." She took out the swishy material and grabbed a sharpie.  
Olivia and Elliot, curious, wheeled over to look.  
She drew a dotted line in the middle of his neck, then around the white exterior border. "Yeah...maybe a thin pink wash? Or would the abjectness of the color be better?"  
Olivia laughed. "White would look better."  
"Hey!" John snapped.   
"You look like a glue bottle." Elliot said in awe.  
"Oh please, his body is incredible." Delilah said absentmindedly. "Incredible bone structure on the upper torso...give me a nonpermanent and I'll show you."  
Now John was interested too.  
She circled his collarbone, shoulders, hips, and thighs. "these all have beautiful curves. See? the thighs are plump, but soft and they have a dimple here that implies strength. Collarbone and shoulders imply depth and power. Those hips...those, my friends, are hips designed to fuck."  
John turned hot red and wheeled back to his chair. "Oh dear God I made my partner wet at 8 am on a Tuesday."  
"I prefer a female anatomy, but I already have those pieces." She slid the photo away after wiping the marker off.   
"Sex art enthusiast?" Elliot cocked an eyebrow, back at his own desk.  
"Very much so. I believe embracing your sexuality is true freedom...allowing yourself to pleasure others, to be pleasured, it is a wonderful thing. Denying ourselves sexual gratification because society says its wrong-society, not the law, mind you-is the fastest way to worsening depression."  
"You think sex can cure mental illness?"  
"Hell no. I've been unwell most of my life, but it's one less problem not to be ashamed of my body and what I enjoy." Delilah fixed her lipstick.  
"So like what?" Elliot asked. "What do you enjoy?"  
John scowled. "Stabler, is that really-"  
She held up and hand. "Thank you for sticking up for me, John, but I can answer that. I am a bisexual, and I am not ashamed of my sexual attraction to women. I enjoy dominating men. I enjoy rope and pain play. I enjoy being called names. I also enjoy being spoiled rotten, and I enjoy being dominated."  
Everyone gaped at her.   
"Jesus Christ Delly. You never got out of your free love phase."  
"You did, and look how thrilled you are to be alive." Delilah looked up from her tea. "Don't you ever wish you could just...do it all again? Have the rowdy and weird sex?"  
John thought. "Some of it, yeah. Some of it was drug fueled and only fun for that reason. But some of the sex was the best of my life."  
"Because you were allowing your body to enjoy everything it did." Delilah said triumphantly, pointing a pen at him. "And if you were to just allow yourself one little thing...like being proud of having your body on display, or getting off in a different way, or buying a weird toy just for the fuck of it...don't you think you'd have just a smidge more happiness in your life?"  
"I'm dreaming this conversation." Benson said firmly.   
Elliot nodded in agreement and went back to work, before asking:  
"...how can you do that if you're married?"  
"Sex toys. Buy her a vibrator, maybe get a strap on if you're comfortable."  
John snorted. "From what I remember, straps were the time of everyone's life back in the day. A good peg would make any man sing operetta."  
"So...like a nice vibrator?" Elliot promptly ignored the idea of pegging.  
"G-spot vibrators are just as powerful, but bigger and cheaper than ones designed for the clitoris alone. If I could drop 150 bucks, I would buy a Hitachi Magic wand."  
John snapped his fingers. "Those shits are the BOMB. You can get all sorts of weird attachments, like flesh lights or dildos or others. I remember a primitive version of those back in 1962...they're that expensive now?"  
"Oh yeah. I would marry any man who bought me one. Hell, any man who bought me any sex toy is a keeper on my list."  
"I'll keep that in mind for the Christmas party." John grumbled.  
Fin came downstairs with his young, and bitchy, partner. Both John and Delilah were insanely jealous of this young white girl, who fawned over him.  
"Hey, Delly." Fin smiled and ruffled her hair. "How you doin?"  
"Fine. Just looking at John's nudes."  
Fin snorted. "Yeah?"  
"Oh yeah. Paid twenty bucks to get a print. Hey, pass me a pair of scissors."  
"NO! You are not cutting my head off of my dick pics at WORK!" John grabbed the scissors.  
"Liv?"  
"Sure."  
John made a noise like a strangled howler monkey and flopped back. "Fin, I give UP!"  
"You certainly do give." She said absentmindedly and began snipping.  
"Damn. Nice hips." Fin said, peering over the picture.  
"I was 20 in that picture, they have significantly softened."  
"I bet." Fin said nonchalantly. "Probaby all old and mushy by now."  
Now, Delilah wasn't stupid. She knew full well Fin and John had sex, and she knew full well Fin and John both crushed hard on her.   
"Bone structure doesn't generally deteriorate. Unless John hasn't been getting any."  
"I haven't had sex in four years."  
Which was technically true-Fin never penetrated John.  
"I haven't had sex in SEVEN! Top that." Delilah said triumphantly.  
"Uh, the Handsy case-" Elliot started  
"That didn't count as sex." Fin said, his warm baritone like ice.  
"I guess not."  
"You don't have to guess a thing." John said coolly.  
"Jeez, he didn't mean it like that." The young partner, named Samantha Reeves, said irritably.   
Delilah stood up-and while she was tiny in comparison to John or Fin, she towered over Sam.  
"And what did he mean it like, Reeves?" Her voice was cold, colder than John cared to hear from such a warm and loving woman.  
Sam swallowed. "Sorry, ma'am."  
"No worries kiddo." She suddenly brightened. "Hey, you wanna grab a sandwich on me? I know Fin is stingy as hell with money."  
"Sure-"  
Delilah had already dragged the poor young officer out of the door.  
Fin sat at his old spot. "Man, this chair is cooooomfy!"  
"She replaced the cushion."  
"Ass too big to sit in those regular chairs." he said so only John could hear.  
He snorted. "Damn straight."  
"How's your luck on getting her?"  
"Shit."  
"Mm, I have a date with her already planned."  
"Mangy ass."   
"Jealous?" Fin smirked.  
"Uh, YES."   
Olivia watched the exchange and rolled her eyes.

Men. Love em or leave em.


End file.
